Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
