Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
