tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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