Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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