Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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