He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
