hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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