He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
