4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
