He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dicks are not precious.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
