i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
