kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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