The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
