you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize