So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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