You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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