all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
