you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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