im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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