sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
