not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
they're like a gay fantastic four
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
