OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
