ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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