Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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