You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
