I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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