You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize