do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
