so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
