Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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