But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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