I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
