you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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