I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize