it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
