During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
