You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
