he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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