So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
