Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
