Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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