Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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