Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
