just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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