dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
