WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
