who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
