Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
