Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
