their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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