did you get engaged???
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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