wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize