i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
