Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
