I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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