he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Green mimosas i think yes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
