My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
