I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
