remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize